Benjamin Bushwick

ben3Age: 22

Hometown: Rockville, Maryland


Long walks on the beach, puppies, giving and receiving free food, cuddling, hammock lyfe, human children, Psychology, playing Chess with myself, deadheads, mothman, and popping foot blisters.

Why Benjamin wants to be adopted:

When I haul all of my worldly possessions in a baby stroller through Chicago, I appear no different from the homeless. One day it will be fashionable. If everybody did this, many of us would be getting much needed fresh air, and we could make village life cool again. When I do live in a house, it seems a little bit over the top with all the space and insulation from the forces. A cobb hut will do. Really I wish to create a cult following, which will give all Americans the courage to abandon their jobs, and disrupt business as usual. When I say jobs, I don’t mean things like vocations, or passions, or careers, I mean like when a human person has an unmet human need and it seems they can only meet that need by getting access to money, which you would do by being the lackey of somebody who has a lot of money and can afford to give you some of their money if you do things for them and are willing to sacrifice your morals and dignity for them. I guess when I put it that way, I really want you to adopt me because I need a job. I have too much free time walking to think about things like social revolutions and feeding the poor and reversing manmade climate change and I want to contribute to this microcosm of society that I am part of because they need money and I am willing to do things for them like put myself up for adoption. Please hire me for this job of adopted marcher. For ten thousand dollars, I will come visit you for a weekend after the march as an adopted child and we can engage in parent child family activities like teaching me how to fish, board games, and whatever floats your boat.




Adopt Benjamin for $100

Adopt Benjamin for $250

Adopt Benjamin for $500